http://emptyeyes.tribe.net/thread/f565da2d-18e1-4857-9a57-25f20fae0a05?format=rss Tribe.net. Local Connections http://emptyeyes.tribe.net/thread/f565da2d-18e1-4857-9a57-25f20fae0a05#3f6c8fda-51f8-4bcd-a887-3606e00307ef Black background is a lot better I think, I hurt my eyes less and I think my contacts will like that a lot better. I like Microsoft word though, very smart program. We almost hit a woman while driving about an hour ago. We were driving around aimlessly for cloves. Once we had found them and were driving back a slow jeep was in front of us so we moved over and suddenly a woman was in the middle of the street walking. We had to swerve into the other lane to avoid hitting her. She never looked up or even walked faster. She was in a different world. I thought someday I will do that same thing. But my rational thinking tells me no, that I will get hit and die. E never read these; I read your romance novel chapter right after you sent it to me. You are very egotistical; don’t you think that’s a bad thing? I can’t understand why someone would choose to have a bad trait and not try and improve on one’s self. Do you respect me at all? I always have gotten the feeling of you always being higher than me. I’m sorry I’ll think about something else because I still love you. Actually I don’t really want to change the subject. It’s so rare that I think “I love you”. I feel like the absence of those words are an illness, something that needs to be cured. I can’t even remember you saying that to me. Depressing. I’ve had a head ache for the past 4 hours; it comes in and out though. A pulsing soft pain on the right temple. When ever I type I hurt my wrists because I lay them on the edge of the table. Pretty bad, I know. Can you get carpal tunnel syndrome from typing? You are not exactly doing the same action over and over again... but, well... I don’t know. Stay in the same fucking font I say. Word seems smart most of the time but god dam it at point’s it’s a real bugger. Or fucker. When you say curse words does it make you seem less intelligent? Because you didn’t use a more descriptive word. I think that’s kind of absurd. I keep on changing my font, never happy with one in this black and white 2D world. In these thought streams I think that sometimes I come up with some really good phrases at points. Catch phrases and such. He he, I like to say “...And such” I think its pretty fun. He he… We are bullets being shot out of a womb-gun. Flying and spinning through the universe not knowing when we will explode into a billion pieces. I found it amusing that warren said he was stupid. He was talking about how he didn’t know how you could make the moon spin faster. We got a bunch of e-mails back explaining it and he said something about “see, I’m actually not that bright” and so on. Such a good writer and he say’s he’s like the rest of us. The sheet of being famous pulled back and there is a tweaker trying to punch out a living for his girlfriend and daughter though a Handspring Visor Platinum. Humans are interesting creatures I must say. Type a few buttons and you could be living comfortably for the rest of your life in England or where ever you want. Or in a shitty dorm with no meaning to your life and no idea where you’re going. When we are born we were all the same not including traits you inherited. We were all mix clones. A clean slate of pure happiness or pure pain. Now the world has cut and scratched and molded and enhanced that clone into being an individual as different as a snowflake. You’re original, just like everyone else. Shoved out into the cold, confused and lonely, naked with no plan. We huddle in groups to keep the cold loneliness away. Blank stares and quiet whisperings of memes and the end. Some cry and rock back and forth, away from everyone. Most find solace in the bright glow of a screen, be it a computer or television. Everything is a distraction or denial of the truth: life was a lie and no one will ever love you. We wish we were never born but create others and put them through the same because that is the reality of it all. We must create more that will somehow let a small part of me continue on. Replicate and move on. No one cares if you keep yourself distracted; just do what you are meant for. Enslaved by our parents. Life: a sexually transmitted disease, always fatal. Life was beautiful when I had someone to distract me. I can focus my self on one other person, no focus on my self. But it seems every time I try and keep someone they betray me. Sometimes lying and leaving or sometimes using my weaknesses for their own means. I have no faith in my god any more, because the god I loved threw me away. They all do. All I want is something to hold onto, to keep me from falling into the abyss of insanity and death. Yes, I know. I’m very depressing. From now on when I am talking about someone I know or have met I shall shorten their names to the first letter. Even though I doubt anyone will have the patience to read this I just don’t want to accidentally hurt someone. These are my thoughts without much censoring so I hope you can understand. Should I become an average girl? Fucking who I want and random one night stands? Maybe if I pretend to be detached I’ll eventually become detached. I have friends that are practically sluts and I have a tendency to look down at them for that. Maybe it’s wrong for me to do that or maybe it’s wrong for them to do that. Life is confusing like that and in asking my self these questions I hope maybe it will make me think about it more and hopefully come up with my own personal answers. When I see a cute guy on the street walking or things like that I imagine them naked. Sounds like a normal thing to do to me. I don’t always do that, it’s not a constant thing. When you think about it sex is pretty disgusting, fluids exchanging and sweat. But if you think that’s gross you can pretty much make everything else normal humans do obscene in your head. I think about what I want to write about next but this should be pure thought streaming like the first one I did. But now that I have paragraphs and I’m actually telling people about my blog I feel the need to censor and make my thoughts more logical and linear. Staying on one subject even though my mind wanders to other things. I was told women think differently than men. Men think more visually and graphically and women think about one thing, which reminds them or this other thing and continued to infinity. I will pause and look at what I have read and read it over again. Maybe this is the evolution of streaming thought or maybe it’s already something else. Me babbling about random shit, but that really is thought streaming. I don’t know, I confuse my self a lot. I’m listening to Seefeel Ch-Vox, strange stuff. Sounds like it should be the soundtrack to a movie. I am so tired; it’s hard for me to force my self to keep on writing. I can’t think of anything good to write about. Sorry. Fri, 07 Nov 2003 07:50:09 GMT http://emptyeyes.tribe.net/thread/f565da2d-18e1-4857-9a57-25f20fae0a05#3f6c8fda-51f8-4bcd-a887-3606e00307ef $item.owner.firstName 2003-11-07T07:50:09Z